During our in-class discussion, of The Man Date. it seems that many associate being “intimate” with being “homosexual” or in some cases, with being “feminine.”
- The obvious question is, then, why is this so? These are two separate concepts, so why have people—in this case, some of you—decided that one is just as good as the other?
- Second, in the article it states that men were not always so hesitant to “go out” with each other, and that there have been two factors involved in how men presently feel about “man dates.” Both of these boil down to insecurity with society’s opinions of “manliness.” So, here, I will ask a less obvious question: Why are men so concerned with what society thinks?
because in most cases we do not want to be seen with a guy and presived as being gay i dont think it is about being feminine because one guy can cry to another if they have or had been comforthble around them for years. it would probly be about being the alfa male or over ruling one on one activaties such as going out to dinner because if you really think about it most guys watch sports and in one on one events they are v.s each other or one is stronger then the other which in instinct a man would want to be bigger and pay for a meal to show the other one who makes more money or who has more strenth.
ReplyDelete1. A man date can be for any guy. There isn’t a rulebook with do’s and don’ts but you should know the limit. By that I mean its common sense on what or what not to do on a man date. A man date should be a comfortable outing for two guys and not feeling uncomfortable on what they do, again it’s only obvious what right from wrong on a man date. In the article it gives out some of the ideas of a man date, such as going to the movie theaters sitting a space apart, having dinner at a sports bar, and instead of sharing a whisky why not beers or hard liquor.
ReplyDelete1.We tend to link being intimate as being homosexual because of our society. People in our society are criticized constantly and are always being judged. I personally don’t let society affect all my decisions but its certain that some of my thoughts are affected. I wouldn’t feel comfortable watching, “The Notebook” with a man because I know that it would just bring an akward vibe. Acting upon intimacy is labeled as something feminish because the male race is categorized as dominant and strong not weak and emotional. Our society worries too much about being judged that’s why people of the same sex try to distance themselves from intimacy to not be labeled as something they’re not.
ReplyDeletei do not believe men are any more concerned about what society think than women. however men are worried about being considered gay due to the negativity that has surrounded the concept of being gay when it comes to men. you will never hear a woman insulted something by saying "that is so lesbian" nor will they accuse each other of being so. men are much more openly chasing women then women due to men therefore they feel a need to be proud of it. perhaps that is why many openly gay people are so proud and loud about it.
ReplyDeletewell in one reason sociaty has changed alot from before allowing peopele to be gay and and allowing people to be more out going for people so therefore holding off everything else. by sociaty allowing people to come out more it is traping most people in because once someone sees one guy and another in a dinner they automaticly think they are gay because of more people coming out now so the first thing to think is the man is gay which means now men have to hold back on goin on man dates to keep peoples eyes close and not thinking they are gay. ...............men are more to think about sociaty to view them because in some men the view of others depends on there ego to be the best. the man is like a race i think all men are born to race and the goal is get to the finish line first and how would they do that by being judged by sociaty if they are determined gay they think that it brings them two steps back because now they have to convince people there not.
ReplyDelete1. Nowadays men are becoming more comfortable with themselves more than ever. Which is not a bad thing. People shouldn’t be mistaken by a man on his sexuality just because he likes to do certain things. If a man chooses to go on a “man date” for a simple dinner and talk, why should that be such a crime without people assuming right away they’re homosexual or trying to be intimae with each other. Being intimate of course sounds more of a man and woman type of thing, but in reality it can be just two people getting to know each other or just having a relatively conversation. Completely different things from being consider a homosexual. Society shouldn’t always be so quick to judge without knowing what’s behind all of it. Men should be able to do the same things as woman can as so can woman should be able to do the same as men without being judge.
ReplyDelete1. I believe that many associates have feelings that many people view guys crying as feminine. Guys know what seems good for them and not, but also homosexual people act feminine, act a certain way that man don’t act. We look up to man as a manly masculine attitude. A homosexual will go to places romantic with their partner or if they plan the occasion with someone they have feelings for. In the article, I noticed that two roommates tried to go to a highly praised Italian restaurant but couldn’t enter as couples because they felt odd and weird. They both thought it was funny and decided to go to a “down and dirty” place down the road. Many guys would do these kinds of things instead of entering into a fancy place where romantic couples would go. I believe man dates isn’t wrong in a certain point because many people have really good friends that get great advices from and view them as just friends. Most of them fear that others would judge them for what they think.
ReplyDeleteThe answer I think to the question why is this so that it seems that many associate being intimate with being homosexual or in some cases, with being feminine is being intimate is having a close personal relation. Homosexual is not neccesarily the same as being feminine. Homosexual is pertaining to the same sex and feminine is pertaining to a women. There are some that happen to be feminine and homosexual at the same time, but that’s a person reason or choice. That doesn’t mean if your feminine, your homosexual or vice versa. There are straight men, that in there life were surrounded by women, so in that way would make them obtain a feminine personality. Theres homosexuals that are very manly or girly like depends on sex or partner, that reason is because in a homosexual relationship some will be the masculent and the other would be the feminine. So in this topic its two different stories.
ReplyDelete1. I think people put a man intimate with another man as being homosexual because there are showing feelings to another man as they would do to a girlfriend. Guys don’t really like to show feeling out so when they do it may look like there homosexual. Also if a guy goes out with a other guy to a restaurant then they feel they being going out with their girlfriends but if they go to a stack house they show there manly. I think it matters on the guy because all them think different same may think it’s being homosexual and others no.
ReplyDelete2. Men concerned with what society thinks because they don’t want give out the wrong message. If there out with their friends to a restaurant they want people to think there gay so they go to a streak house show that there not and just friends. Society also makes being gay bad so gays don’t want people to think that and being outcast. They also like to wear the pants they don’t want people think that there being control but they control. Cause if they don’t they feel they have nothing also to do.
ReplyDelete1. People think that being intimate with being homosexual and being feminine is the same thing because they stereotype homosexuals for being feminine. That is why people thing it is the same thing. Being intimate with homosexuality just means that you are getting to know it doesn’t necessary make you gay. It could be that you have a friend that is homosexual and you’re intimate with him. That just means that you could talk to him about stuff you won’t talk to other people about. The word intimate has a lot of definitions not just one.
ReplyDeleteBOTH #1
ReplyDelete“The concern about being perceived as gay is one of the major complications of socializing one on one, many straight men acknowledge.” Most men put up a guard of how being gay is not who they are and that they are not even close to it, this would affect the view of their “manhood”. What society feels and what you feel are two different things but most men feel that society is correct. They are not supposed to have one on one time with another man at the movies or at a nice restaurant. For them, what’s acceptable is going to a bar and watching the game, what “men do”. I believe society is why men feel this way and a man that doesn’t fulfill society is not a man, a man date is not what society believes in.
A large number of men are concerned about what society thinks on this situation. “Two things changed during the last century: an increased public awareness of homosexuality created a stigma around male intimacy, and at the same time women began encroaching on traditionally male spheres, causing men to become more defensive about notions of masculinity.” So the way men view man dates haven’t changed, what has changed is the large numbers in homosexuality and how women are beginning to trespass the man’s domain. To men, this makes going on a man date more of a reason not to be done.
2. Things in the present world we live in is very different from the world before. The male race wouldn’t mind dressing up casually and have a fancy dinner with a bottle of wine if it weren’t for society in the present day constantly judging. The reason the past generations would share more of an intimate moment would be because the world had more innocence. The world we live in present day stops us from sharring moments of intimacy due to the constant fear of being categorized as something. I know for a fact that if people weren’t so judgemental still to this present day males would interact more openly. Us males just don’t want to be considered “homosexual” if we really arent that’s why the gap of interaction is different from past generations.
ReplyDelete2. Men I believe are so concerned with what society thinks because of the issue of them fearing what might get around. Meaning society might see them in a different prospective view and word them differently. Then again it does only take one person to see or hear something for it to evolve around. Which I believe is their biggest fear, but why bother what people may think of you? I see it more as being yourself and being comfortable with that, as long as you know you’re on a man date and avoiding the obvious signs that separate straight from gay then you shouldn’t have to worry what society may think of you.
ReplyDeleteI think keyla is right in some ways guys really dont show feelings to one another because it might look homosexual but guys shouldnt be afaird to show there soft side in front of guys because it might go well and he might start doing the same.
ReplyDeleteThe word "intimate"is a variable sort of word and it is constantly misused or misunderstood, a guy can be an intimate friend. The word itself can imply different levels of intimaticy just by context.And intimate friends are people you trust so much that person is your brother or sister. HOWEVER in this cruddy society EVERYTHING IS BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION period.
ReplyDeleteTo Ashley respond to question 1 I think you’re right they should feel bad to be intimate. But not all guys think that way so same if they are afraid if guys aren’t scared I think it would be way better cause then they can be more open. I also don’t agree with the first one I don’t think now on days there being more comfortable I think there being more afraid to go one man date with an other guy. There being afraid to go out in dinner out with a friend so I agree with you but not with the first part you wrote.
ReplyDeleteIn this case I don’t understand why being intimate would automatically jump to being homosexual. Being intimate is a different concept them being homosexual. Being intimate is having that personal relationship with someone else on a deeper level not just being friends. Homosexuality is something many people are and it seems to affect a lot of people even when they go on these “man dates”. A lot of people don’t even realize a homosexual person even if it’s just to grab a bite to eat. Being feminine doesn’t automatically mean you’re gay. Most guys are feminine meaning they do like to take care of themselves and show there softer side to them. These three things are completely different even though people imply them as being the same.
ReplyDeleteMen aren’t concerned with what society thinks, more like how they are labeled. In my opinion if they were to be gay or homosexual then a man date would sound like a reasonable choice of words. In the sense that it’s two straight people going out somewhere, I think they would prefer it hanging out or in these days chilling. Men have pride, its like hereditary, I don’t think they would appreciate it to be labeled as homosexual or a man date or what it is, especially when it’s false and what not. Honestly I don’t care what society thinks of me, I’ve been on many man dates then and I’m straight so I consider it chilling or hanging out. So at the end of the day I really don’t care what society thinks of me, they should stop judging and worry about themselves cause they ain’t doing so well themselves.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMen are so concerned with what society thinks because when it comes to there ego and portraying themselves as a man they like to feel like they need to have the power and where the pants in whatever situation there in. Men aren’t to friendly when it comes to talking about their “manliness” because they have this ego and this cover shell to portay them as tough. Some men just have that rough shell because of their insecurities about themselves. They don’t want other people thinking that they have an emotional side to them a softer side. They feel as if they don’t be tough or stand their ground someone might try to break them or make fun of them because they have a feminine side to them.
ReplyDelete2. Today some men can be really insecure. In my opinion, I believe a man should be free to do whatever he pleases. With that being, sometimes men have to pay a more high cost of what people and society view them. Men always try and have to fit this certain image. For example, take care of woman, be a hard worker, etc. Nowadays the tables in certain situations have completely turned around. That being, there is nothing wrong with that. In the past years, most men were grown up to live up to these certain standards, as soon they don’t amount up to them; people right away judge and start assuming the worst. At the end of it all, we really cant change anyone’s mind.
ReplyDeleteashley is right as iin some ways more guys are becoming more comforable and they now can go out with out haveing a problem and i feel as though more people should go on man dates without being called gay
ReplyDeleteI think all mandates are different they would look, act, and seen differently because they don’t want to show their real sides because of the other man reaction. Therefore “HOMOSEXUAL” they don’t all come out to chill with some straight man because they know they’re not going feel right being around people who might misjudge them. They would chill more with girls than with straight mans. Is because they won’t feel right to talk to them as a friend cause of the form straight man might seen them self’s being around them. I believe that straight man and homosexual should respectful, try to take along with each other, and kind to each other. For them to see that everyone in this world could be friendly and stop being judged for the way they turned out to be.
ReplyDelete1. Well intimate and feminine are different put similer in many ways. The majority of people get confused with both words many times. They have to many thing in common but they are very differnt. For example, guy can be intimate friends with someone and that just means they are very close and more open with that person so they can talk about anything. Feminine in this case is more open with yourself to others and sensitive emotionally. They both are more open towards someone but intimate is more towards one person rather than everyone.
ReplyDeleteIn comments towards Ruby’s response I do agree with her statement. I do also believe you may go on a man date as long as you know what’s right from wrong. There aren’t any rules on a man date but if you don’t want to seem as if you were gay it’s common sense on what to do or where to go. Such as instead of a instead of wine share a six pack or hard liquor, fancy restaurant why not a sports bar.
ReplyDeleteI believe that society has made it for a man to be considered homosexual or have homosexual tendencies. If they want intimacy and preferably with a man they will be judged gay. Reasons for that are like how it said in the article that times have change. Homosexuals are out more and society has seen this to be wrong. If a man shows any feminine side to him, he will be considered gay. Therefore a man date too many is considered a feminine thing and people are quick to judged it as being intimate with another guy. Yet to many others a man date is just a hang out with a close buddy. Man dates are different for everybody.
ReplyDeleteI think are men worried about what society thinks about them because it always been considered that a man is in power. Years ago a man was the only one who provided for the family. Many cultures as well preach that man should be strong and work hard. This being so I feel has cause society to be this way and think this the right way of things. But times are different and people are being more accepting of differences people have. But yet there’s that small amount of people that are to afraid of change and opening up to the idea of something they know nothing about.
ReplyDeleteThe reason why most guys care so much about what society thinks is because there is ALOT of negative feedback on gay people so of course there is hesitation on their part.Besides society
ReplyDeleteis a endless pool of judgement,hell I can walk into a random room right now and just by looking at me people make judgements on my character so WHO CARES!!!
2. I believe that man are so concern in what society thinking because of our history of man. Everyone looked at man as an alpha male throughout history. They had do go to war, work , sports and support theyre family. Society alway looked at the head of house which was the male.Its theyre proud and ego that gets the best of them. They love when society see them progressing or successing in life. For example cars, house, looks and job everyone looks upon that in a male. Its always been like that even since man was created.
ReplyDeleteRegarding Alexis response I do agree with the statement. Past from the future is completely different. I do believe back then men were comfortable sharing an outing regardless of sharing a dinner at a restaurant or talking it over with a glass of wine. These days you don’t see that around much often because of the criticism we get in return for the actions we do even if we might feel right and comfortable doing or saying what we may, there will still be negative feedback. Which I believe is completely wrong, I think you should just let a person live.
ReplyDeleteResponds to Keyla comment number 2. I definitly agree with you. Especially that gay marriage are being legalize all around t he united state. More and more people are noticing gay people and what they are doing. Also it have to do with religion too that some people disagree with gay people. Making a man date very dificult for people that enjoy having a one to one conversation or time. I feel that guy go to a man date o catch up with things or to get away from theyre sister, girlfriend, or wife. Another thing sometimes man feel that girls dont understand them so they rather talk to a man about their problems.
ReplyDelete2. In my opinion men are so concerned with what society thinks because men are supposed to be the male figure in any household or even relationships. People see men like the ones that got to have the pants in any type of relationships. Therefore in my opinion men feel like they are males they have to play a strong role and keep homosexuality away from them. Society only makes judgments on people without even knowing their true colors. This town is filled with it as we speak and around the world, people that think about each other different without even knowing them. If you were to walk to streets dressed like if u never had a home and you haven’t taken a shower and you can tell you are homeless and step into a class or a place where there’s a lot of people without knowing you they will start to talk and it doesn’t only happen to people that are gay it also happened a lot with people that are overweight and homeless. Point blank everyone gets talked about, for me I see that as a normal thing and something that is never going to change either they talk good or they talk bad but they still have something to say. I just say let people talk all they want it shouldn’t hurt you or what you believe in or what you think it’s wrong from right. If you’re straight then straight you are keep going on your dates with your girlfriend and doing things you normally do. If you gay keep loving who you love and walk the streets with the one you love like there’s no tomorrow. JUST LIVE LIFE the way you want to don’t let any judgments stop you.
ReplyDeleteResponse to Ashley:
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with ashley, man should be free to do whatever they put their mind out to,and not care what people have to say about them. There s judgement all around us, it shouldnt stop us from living our normal lives only because people dont agree with it
Response to Asantiago....
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you men are so concerned with what society thinks because when it comes to there ego and portraying themselves as a man they like to feel like they need to have the power and where the pants in whatever situation there in.Thats the way the think and some actually were brought up to have that mind set.
To Jordan’s #2:
ReplyDeleteThe man in history has always been looked at like you say. I found it interesting that you wrote what you wrote because nobody had the same answer. Yes, they were perceived as the head honcho but everybody has a weakness or needs a break. So what if they are so high in ranking? They could still go out and eat with a friend at a nice local restaurant.
To Mike’s #1:
ReplyDeleteMost of what you said was a bit confusing for me. However, it made since to a point of the alpha male. You say how the male can cry in front of each other, which is the worst for a man to admit but they can’t by a meal for one another at a nice local restaurant? I find this weird! I mean every man says, “I don’t cry”. I thought this would be the weakness of a man but I guess going to a restaurant is weaker just because of society.
In response to Ashley I agree that men do have to pay more high cost to what society thinks of them. And now with the way things have changed. Everyone is going to have their opinions, and you can’t control it. But if the man feels a need to be different then by all means that’s fine, what’s great is that things have changed so it wouldn’t be an issue to some now.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Alexis, I liked your response and agreed with it. People of that same sex do tend to distance themselves especially men in order not be considered something they’re not. Even though that’s fine I think society has to change a bit. People need to stop worrying what the next person is going to think because it doesn’t matter.
ReplyDeleteMy answer to the question is why many people associate being homosexual or in another case as the same being feminine and intimate is having a close personal relation. As in some texts it says that homosexual is not the same as being feminine, the meaning for homosexual is tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex and for as feminine is pertaining to a woman or girl. Now these days there happen to be feminine and homosexual at the same time but like that’s here choice in life for what they are and no one can judge them. In some case there are homosexual that are manly or tend to be girly too it comes from how they are or depends on their sex or partner, a reason to that is because in some relationship some will be the masculinity and as for the other one will be the feminine in the relationship. So now people just can’t associate one is just as good as the other one before knowing the facts about all three of them and the different they mean.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Keyla I agree with her that men concerned with what society thinks because they don’t want to send the wrong message to them. Like I have this one friend that if he goes out with these guy friends to eat and the people that are around him just look at him and from there they just think he is gay without even knowing him or talking to him and that’s wrong for them to just think that. Also like why should society judge or think being gay is a bad like that’s normal and if people are like that just let them be because it’s their life. Society should just keep their opinion to themselves,because like if they are going to judge on someone if they are gay or anything they should look at them first before judging or anything of that kind.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Ashley I agree with her that men today are really insecure. In some point like men should be free as to do what they pleases but like they have to do what as follow because of what people and society thinks of them. Now at these times men actually do have to fit a certain image in society like they have to hard worker and have to provide to their family and everything else that comes from being a men. If people don’t see most of the men grown up and living up to what they have to do after a while they may think bad or even the worst of them, and that’s what most of the guys have to think and prove that they got it and know they can deal with everything in their life’s. Even if men prove that they can do everything in their life’s people are still going to be judgmental of what they do.
ReplyDeleteI find that if two men want to socially interact with each other it is ok. Men can show affection towards each in a healthy mature way. Sharing leisure time with one another and enjoying each others company is good. To me if you are not homosexual then there is nothing to worry about. But if you are gay then that is shameful and evil. Being gay to me is a feminine act. There are women so what's the point.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion men do have a reason for what society says, when it comes to man dates. The concern is that time and time again men recognize that being intimate leads to ugly and rude behavior. The society of this generation and the future generations will raise this question and there will still be an uncomfortable issue. Men don't like gossip about homosexuality in general when they are not.
ReplyDeleteResponse to Reina Mejia:
ReplyDeleteI totally see her view point on how this world is judgemental. Men can do anything they put their minds to. When she refers to the fact that this is part of living a normal life, I feel that can be debated. Money twists peoples minds.
Response to Sarah M:
ReplyDeleteI agree with her post. I think that everyone should love themselves. Doing the best you can is all you can do. People try to change others beliefs with criticism. Knowing right from wrong, and getting up when you are down
makes you tough.
Responses 1 & 2;
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Santiago's response, men are always busy thinking about who wheres the pants and who doesn't. Some let their egos affect the way that they act and make decisions in their lives. They don't want to be classified as emotional or weak because it's a sign of weakness which would give others a greater chance of criticism that's why we tend to act distance with the same sex.
Ashley Vargas response to the first article has some good points but i disagree on a few things. I don't believe that men are more comfortable with themselves now a days because of the way people criticize. People's criticisms affect those who aren't of a certain field that they are being labeled as. I do believe that those who are "homosexual" are more open due to the high number of people that come out of the closet. I agree on the point that people shouldn't label men just because we share a close bond with another male because that does not make us gay.
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ReplyDelete#1. I honestly think being a under cover homosexual or being an intimate feminine homosexual is All the same there really is no diffrence,not one or the other gets and approval from me! Both are immoral and incorrect! I think ones just really concerned with what society thinks , and the other gay people Don’t really care what society thinks! Homosexuals are the minority in the male world! All goes against what God has created for us MEN, Which was ADAM AND EVE! Woman Was created for and from mans rib! I completely Agree And value the Kindness of God When he thought of man! Which comes the Words " THANK GOD "
ReplyDelete#2. Some Men are concerned and some men are not. Me, my self; I am not concerned what Anybody thinks of me! I know who I am. I know what I am. And gay is not IT ! Most men do care what society thinks simply because Straight men don’t want to be categorized as a gay guy or Homosexual. No man wants to be categorized as something he's not! And Most would not want to have the job of proving either way What or who they are.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Ashley.
ReplyDeleteI Strongly DISAGREE with you on your first question!
there are something things men Should Not do that women do. Men Should not have a date to the nail solon or food shopping together. Men don’t do play dates or dinner dates over a candle light dinner. Men don’t Share bottles Of Wine! I Believe men do have A do's and Don’ts !
In response to Jordan.
ReplyDeleteI do agree with you! From day one, Man (In ALL MAN) was created with a roll! A Job, A concern!, which was EVE( in Adams Sake) ! Eve was made for Adam! Which means Woman Was made for Man!
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ReplyDelete#1. There's nothing wrong with a guy going out to eat with a another male friend man date or not men do go out with friends and hang out one on one once ina while, BUT! if two straight male friends go out to eat at a place called "DOWN and DIRTY" i have nothing against them but thats GAY! The problem is that we men are really concerned about what other people think about to males spending time together. I’ve been on a man date before I went with one of my friends to McDonalds we sat ate and chatted there for almost an hour and people looked at us wrong assuming we were gay until a couple female friends showed up. Anyways girls go on dates all the time and anywhere you go I promise you you're going to see two girls ganging out so men should just do what they got to do live life and not pay attention to what anyone has to say.
ReplyDelete2. Men are concerned about what society thinks because today is different than before. There wasn’t so many homosexual in the back then and they were afraid to come out of the closet. Now men don’t want others to think they have something going on with some other guy. Men want to show people they are tough and that’s what they are all about. A guy wouldn’t want to wake up in the morning and going hangout with his friend and people thinking they are gay. They don’t want to be bothered and they just want to have a good day and not be accused of being gay. Basically, they care about what society thinks and that’s why they don’t want to be something they are not.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Jordan:
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree to your #2 response. Man is created to being a strong macho person. In the past, there was a lot of rights for man and no rights for women and I believe that a homosexual is like a girl liking a guy. To me a homosexual is a girl, which looks wrong when a men should be more masculine than feminine. I agree to one of your response that a man was created for a woman and a woman to a man. In the bible, it started with Adam and Eve. Not Adam and some other guy. Man are the head of a house and the one who provides for the household.
In response to Reina Mejia:
ReplyDeleteI agree to your #2 response because everyone gets criticized even if they are now known. Mandates shouldn’t be wrong to men because you should have common sense in what your doing. I see men as the head of everything and I just can’t picture a woman being the head. Society always judge without even knowing the person, but we can’t do anything about it. If your gay, your gay and a men shouldn’t get mad about that if it’s the truth for them. If they are straight and someone says they are gay why would you care what they think if you know what is the truth and there’s nothing to argue about. Let them talk cause either way that will go on.
response to Ruby #1
ReplyDeleteJust because a men cries it doesn't necessary means he is feminine. He could be sentimental. Now if he is crying while an other man is with him in a man date then it could go either way. Homosexuals aren't the only ones that could be romantic. Straight guys could also take there partners out to some romantic place.